Make Myself Disappear - 2017

Cows in a field

Sometimes, even a world-renowned illusionist just wants to be left alone.

Sometime in 2015 or 2016, I was thinking a lot about writing simpler songs. Slowing down my normal tempos, letting go of my love of surprises, cutting back on the number of chords used, Etc. My thinking was that this could give the different parts more space to shine. So with that in mind, I set out to make a moody slow burner. Make Myself Disappear, the story of a rising star on the illusionist circuit who buckles under the weight of audience expectations and abracadabras himself out of existence, is the result of these efforts. I am pretty pleased with the song as a whole, even if there is always permanent dissatisfaction with many of the individual elements. C'est la vie.

I wanted this song to start with an alarm blare of guitars and some stock plugin electric organ. I am pretty stoked about how this turned out. I think I tracked that part in 2015, but quite honestly, it could have been even earlier. I can't keep track of the years anymore.

At some point later in time, Tim was over here hanging out and came up with the idea for the main 2 chords in the verse. I wanted to play behind the beat a little, but I am an eager beaver on the guitar and was not overly successful on that front. I should have had him do it! haha! I could never quite get the ending I wanted, but this one is sufficient. In the end, 2017 rolled around and I got tired of working on this, so I declared this home demo finished. Maybe I will revisit it some day to create a better recording, or maybe i will make it disappear! Presto!